I think most professionals and definitely anyone who has experienced grief knows, the 5 stages of grief don't actually capture the experience. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance

...wouldn't it be nice if we just walked through each of these in order and then moved on? Well nice try; it's not gonna happen like that.

Not to say we don't probably experience all of those and more. For example, right now I'm furious. I am so angry that they're gone. That they left me. That they didn't get to see this part of their life. And yeah, mine too. How am I supposed to do this part without my mom's listening or my friend's advice?

And I've gone through the other stages besides anger. In no particular order. And often more than one of those in the same day. And I still haven't gotten to acceptance. I'm too mad. It's been over 6 years since Mom died, and sometimes I think I've come to acceptance, but then something big happens in my life and I get angry all over again. I want to tell her and ask her and talk through it over a cup of coffee. Yes, I believe she's "still here," but you know as well as I do that it's not the same.

One thing I've found to be helpful is this ball in the box with a button. Because even though that ball that represents my grief around my mom's death several years ago is pretty small, it STILL hits the damn button every now and then. (Any chance you think it's been hit recently?)

The ball and the box explained here: