1. Nothing you say or do will make it better. So just let me cry, let me be sad, hold me. 

2. The grief will come in waves. It will not make sense to you or to me, but that's just how it is. I may be fine right now and wailing in 5 minutes. I may function beautifully for a month and then barely get out of bed one day. Don't fight the ups and downs and ebbs and flows. Ride them alongside me. (Also see Stages Schmages)

3. Take care of the day-to-day things. Feed the kids, walk the dog, take out the trash, wash the dishes. This is love. This is support.

4. Don't even THINK about trying to take me to sexy town. It is not happening. I'll let you know when I'm ready for that.

5. Get others involved as you see fit. A therapist, a trusted friend, a family member...so you're not taking it all on yourself. We all need support, including you.

6. It will get better. It may not ever be the same, but it will get better. Don't try to rush this or push me toward better. Just be here now.

And...I love you. Thank you.